Why does a memory that happened years ago still feel like it's happening now? And how EMDR may help.
Updated: Oct 8
By Kathryn Spence
InnerFocus Therapy
Accredited BACP Psychotherapeutic Counsellor, Accredited BABCP CBT Therapist, EMDR Therapist
October 2026
I get some version of this question a lot. Someone knows, rationally, that the danger is over. The accident happened five years ago. The person who hurt them isn't in the room. And yet their body reacts as if it's happening right now — racing heart, panic, the urge to run or freeze.
That gap, between knowing and feeling, is usually the reason someone ends up in my consulting room asking about EMDR.
What's actually going on
Most experiences get filed away by the brain without any effort on your part. You remember them, but they don't control you. Overwhelming events — a serious accident, or something ongoing like childhood neglect — can disrupt that filing process. The memory doesn't get properly stored as "past". Instead, it stays "live": full of the original images, body sensations and emotions, disconnected from everything calmer and more balanced that you've learned since.
So when something reminds you of it, even faintly, the old response fires again. The fear or helplessness you feel in that moment usually belongs to the old event, not to what's actually happening in front of you.
What EMDR does about it
EMDR — Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing — uses a specific kind of attention while you briefly focus on that memory. This process uses bilateral stimulation, which relies on rhythmic, back-and-forth sensory input to engage both sides of the brain. You can experience this by following a therapist's moving finger or a light bar with your eyes, though physical tapping, or holding vibrating pulsers, or alternating sounds. It seems to help your brain resume processing a memory it got stuck on, linking it to information you already hold but couldn't previously access mid-memory.
I sometimes describe it to clients as sitting on a train, watching the scenery through the window. You're not grabbing at what you see or trying to hold onto it — you just notice it passing. Sometimes the train goes through a tunnel: something distressing comes up. The instinct is to slam the brakes. But the tunnel is usually shorter if the train keeps moving. So we let the stimulation continue, and I remind clients: this is old material surfacing. It feels real, but it isn't happening now.
You're always in control of the pace. You can stop at any point, just by raising a hand and saying "stop."
Does it actually work?
The strongest evidence for EMDR is for PTSD — NICE recommends it as a treatment for adults with the condition. Clinicians also use it, based on clinical judgement and a smaller evidence base, for other things: phobias, grief, low self-esteem tied to earlier experiences, distressing memories linked to chronic pain. If someone's considering it for something other than PTSD, that's a conversation to have directly with a therapist about what the evidence does and doesn't yet show.
You don't have to relive the whole story
One thing that surprises people: you don't need to describe the memory in detail out loud. You don't need to justify it or explain why it still bothers you. Your brain does the actual processing. My job is to guide the pace, keep you safe, and help you stay steady enough to let that happen.
If a memory like this is still running your reactions years later, that's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's a sign it never finished processing. That's fixable.
Download my pdf document which explains EMDR Therapy in more detail:
If you live in the North East of England, and you'd like to talk about whether EMDR could help with something you're dealing with, get in touch.
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I am an accredited therapist and offer in-person therapy in Newcastle upon Tyne (UK) as well as online therapy within the UK. Please contact me to enquire about therapy:
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